Long time no see :)
So I have not posted on here since last year. AKA way. too. long. I wish I could tell you that I was busy doing more things that I love, but, to be honest, that sadly was not the case. The truth is, I have been attempting to do the big thing of finding myself. Yes, I do realize that it sounds cheesy. But, a few months ago, I was not happy with my life. I was not happy with how I felt like I was drowning socially and intellectually at school. I was not happy in general. So I took some time off, ironically, from this blog, one of the things that, I now realize, made and makes me happy. And, I sort of had a realization about living recently, and that is this: life doesn't go on forever. I know we all know this, but I really realized it recently. Hence this page title. The fact that life does not go on forever is morbid, but also beautiful. You have one life to do everything you want to do. One life to make all the memories that you can, and live as beautifully as you can. Just think of all the things that you want to do! So here I am, back with another blog post, because I am trying my best right now to pursue what makes me feel genuinely happy in this life, and this blog is one of them. I love writing and I will love writing probably forever and ever, to infinity and back. But, it is not like I'm happy all the time. I mean, I am in high school. That is a pretty big request considering the circumstances (hahaha). However, I have realized my priorities and values as of right now, and I think that is a pretty good start to feeling better.
p.s. Since it would just be plain hypocritical to write the whole above paragraph and not include some writing, here is a new poem below. I wrote it when I was contemplating a lot of big ideas, and I feel as though it kind of encompasses how I felt, which was pretty lost, really curious and questioning, but also at peace in a strange sort of way. Maybe you can relate to feeling the same...
A Mind Too Small and A World Too Great
I stargaze looking in infinity
Millions of miles away. It occurs
To me how strange it is that we rotate
On a globe in the exact middle of
Some Everything and of some Nothing.
How far out does the space go? Does it end?
If the earth was created in the space
Then how was the space created? What were
We before we are everything we
Are now? And what will we be when we are
Nothing? My mind is getting too tired
By all these questions and so the stars wink
At me once more. Their secrets are safe for
Another infinity I am sure.
xx
Last but not least, since this post is already pretty all over the place, I am going to include a mood board down below just for the heck of it. Mood boards make me happy. I want to be happy. so I am making a mood board to feel happy (hahaha). Enjoy!
(all images via my pinterest, @alexisderickson)
So I have not posted on here since last year. AKA way. too. long. I wish I could tell you that I was busy doing more things that I love, but, to be honest, that sadly was not the case. The truth is, I have been attempting to do the big thing of finding myself. Yes, I do realize that it sounds cheesy. But, a few months ago, I was not happy with my life. I was not happy with how I felt like I was drowning socially and intellectually at school. I was not happy in general. So I took some time off, ironically, from this blog, one of the things that, I now realize, made and makes me happy. And, I sort of had a realization about living recently, and that is this: life doesn't go on forever. I know we all know this, but I really realized it recently. Hence this page title. The fact that life does not go on forever is morbid, but also beautiful. You have one life to do everything you want to do. One life to make all the memories that you can, and live as beautifully as you can. Just think of all the things that you want to do! So here I am, back with another blog post, because I am trying my best right now to pursue what makes me feel genuinely happy in this life, and this blog is one of them. I love writing and I will love writing probably forever and ever, to infinity and back. But, it is not like I'm happy all the time. I mean, I am in high school. That is a pretty big request considering the circumstances (hahaha). However, I have realized my priorities and values as of right now, and I think that is a pretty good start to feeling better.
p.s. Since it would just be plain hypocritical to write the whole above paragraph and not include some writing, here is a new poem below. I wrote it when I was contemplating a lot of big ideas, and I feel as though it kind of encompasses how I felt, which was pretty lost, really curious and questioning, but also at peace in a strange sort of way. Maybe you can relate to feeling the same...
A Mind Too Small and A World Too Great
I stargaze looking in infinity
Millions of miles away. It occurs
To me how strange it is that we rotate
On a globe in the exact middle of
Some Everything and of some Nothing.
How far out does the space go? Does it end?
If the earth was created in the space
Then how was the space created? What were
We before we are everything we
Are now? And what will we be when we are
Nothing? My mind is getting too tired
By all these questions and so the stars wink
At me once more. Their secrets are safe for
Another infinity I am sure.
xx
Last but not least, since this post is already pretty all over the place, I am going to include a mood board down below just for the heck of it. Mood boards make me happy. I want to be happy. so I am making a mood board to feel happy (hahaha). Enjoy!
(all images via my pinterest, @alexisderickson)